Mothers day musings…
I am a woman wearing all the hats. A mum to teenagers, I still do the school run, the laundry and the supermarket run. I’ve been married twice. I’ve been an athlete (a professional dancer and dance teacher for 25 years). I’ve been highly motivated, and I’ve procrastinated. I’ve achieved and I’ve flopped!
Perimenopause has got me right now - there is an ‘interesting’ new development with that every week it seems! I’ve decided to sit on the fence with it for now ..we will see how I feel next week!
Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve been through the highs and lows and I’m not trying to present my highlight reel - I like to keep things as authentic as possible. I might not have said that in my 20’s and 30’s, but this next decade has come with a little more of a ‘chill vibe’.. not quite as much caring about what others think!
These days I live in the Wairarapa where you can find some peace pretty close by if you wander out of the towns and into the countryside or to surrounding rivers or the beaches. I left when I was 17, packed my bags and said ‘I’m never coming back!’ .. but of course I’m back! Murphy’s law. I’m pretty sure I was called back. All four of my grandparents are buried here at the Masterton cemetery and I think they were working their magic on me. I am so glad to be living here in a little slice of paradise. Why didn’t I come back sooner…?
After years of rushing around as a busy mother does, I’m ready to connect on a deeper level with all kinds of people. I thought I’d still be connecting through dance. Actually I thought I would teach dance until I went to the grave. But it became clear after one of those years of re-evaluating, second guessing, procrastinating, applying for jobs that didn’t really suit me, and wondering what the heck am I doing with my life?! That I needed a change.
Crazy how life takes you on different paths.. So here I am, about to start a business!
This unexpected turn of events is exciting and terrifying all at once. The imposter syndrome creeps up on me every now and then to check I’m still in it 100%. Over the years raising my kids, I somehow became an undercover health and safety nut pretending not to see every scary detail (but secretly making notes of every ceiling that might cave in). So I’ve been diligently dotting all my i’s and crossing t’s, studying and training while the washing piles up and I decide what's for dinner two minutes before we need to eat! Yep, I’m on the ‘adult education train’ with no sign of getting off any time soon - I actually love it.
I know my family are sometimes wondering where the old me went .. who is this new woman on a new mission?! I keep saying, it will all settle down soon. I know that will be true at some point. I just can’t say when! I also know the family are all pretty impressed that I am holding it together and proud of what is happening.
I am SO excited to take this opportunity. I touch wood most days to keep the magic alive! I know owning a business is going to be a roller coaster - there will be good days and bad, but what’s new??
For now, I’ll make the most of this time in my life. The energy is palpable, the stars are aligned and the universe is working in my favour! I’d love for you to come and share some of this good juju with me.
See you at Lucere very soon!
Caroline x